Years mark the day





















YEARS MARK THE DAY
By Jacqui Ray

We were celebrating another milestone with our marriage, another year passed with unrelinquished misery as my husband would say. I know he was joking but deep down were we still compatible? Most years we would forget our wedding anniversary or anything else that resembled a major point in our lives. People make out dates to be so important, I am not sure if this was a sticking point in our relationship. Did it really matter if we did not celebrate our wedding anniversary? Did it really matter if we did not wear our wedding rings? People get so caught up in the expectations of what others think. It is not what he does for me but how he does it.

My husband may not jump for joy on certain days when I am wanting him too but that is how he is. Don’t change a person just because you want them changed, there has to be a need for change and direction to wonder how these factors affect a relationship. We both like to go on holidays, but we end up mostly taking our leave at different times throughout the year. It used to get to me when I would see all the loving families throwing their children up in the air with their smiles, fanciful clothes, perfect cloned families all living their perfect existences. How come we were not like that? Why did we both like our own company and not gel with the same tastes and textures. If I said I liked black, he would say he liked white. If I said I liked the country side, he would say he liked the city life.

Living in coexistence was a fact but how factual did I really want it? I wanted more than anyone could give me but was I being greedy? I lived in an affluent suburb of Melbourne, owned a home and had a child who was healthy and happy. I wanted a husband who was going to throw his arms around me each night while instigating wild and exotic sex to fulfil all my raging fantasies. No, that was not going to happen! I was actually living in real life, real times and had to get out of that void of disappointment.

It dawned on me he was a caring man whom always thought of his family first. I was just wanting him to do things my way. There has to be a line drawn in the sand to know when to stop.  Are there things that you are wanting in your life that you can’t have? Is the grass greener on the other side? When the time is right to conquer the fears of your own insecurities, that is when things will be better. When the person who is holding back summons enough courage to let it shine brightly, that is when the moment of realization begins. Allowing my husband to shine but also allowing myself to conquer was needed in this milestone.

Melbourne, Australia
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