Years mark the day
YEARS MARK THE DAY
By Jacqui Ray
We were
celebrating another milestone with our marriage, another year passed with
unrelinquished misery as my husband would say. I know he was joking but deep
down were we still compatible? Most years we would forget our wedding
anniversary or anything else that resembled a major point in our lives. People
make out dates to be so important, I am not sure if this was a sticking point
in our relationship. Did it really matter if we did not celebrate our wedding
anniversary? Did it really matter if we did not wear our wedding rings? People
get so caught up in the expectations of what others think. It is not what he
does for me but how he does it.
My husband may not
jump for joy on certain days when I am wanting him too but that is how he is.
Don’t change a person just because you want them changed, there has to be a
need for change and direction to wonder how these factors affect a
relationship. We both like to go on holidays, but we end up mostly taking our
leave at different times throughout the year. It used to get to me when I would
see all the loving families throwing their children up in the air with their
smiles, fanciful clothes, perfect cloned families all living their perfect
existences. How come we were not like that? Why did we both like our own
company and not gel with the same tastes and textures. If I said I liked black,
he would say he liked white. If I said I liked the country side, he would say
he liked the city life.
Living in
coexistence was a fact but how factual did I really want it? I wanted more than
anyone could give me but was I being greedy? I lived in an affluent suburb of
Melbourne, owned a home and had a child who was healthy and happy. I wanted a
husband who was going to throw his arms around me each night while instigating
wild and exotic sex to fulfil all my raging fantasies. No, that was not going
to happen! I was actually living in real life, real times and had to get out of
that void of disappointment.
It dawned on me he
was a caring man whom always thought of his family first. I was just wanting
him to do things my way. There has to be a line drawn in the sand to know when
to stop. Are there things that you are wanting
in your life that you can’t have? Is the grass greener on the other side? When the time is right to conquer the fears of
your own insecurities, that is when things will be better. When the person who
is holding back summons enough courage to let it shine brightly, that is when
the moment of realization begins. Allowing my husband to shine but also allowing
myself to conquer was needed in this milestone.
Melbourne, Australia
+61 433 281 441
Comments
Post a Comment