The Freedom to Live.

 


I took the long way home. It had made sense before as I trudged my bags up the stairs. In light of what just happened there were reasons I was staying. I moved my clothes in, harnessed a new way forward and released all judgement due to the lack of understanding from my fellow peers. This didn’t make sense now but the hurriedness in which I left was by pure choice. In the back of my mind, I had come to the conclusion that my life was meant to be lived. It had made me realise that now was the time that I could cocoon back home, to the everlasting presence of my parents. 

 

 My mum had a dislike for him, a dislike for all the ways in which he was. Maybe he was good for some but a mastermind in his foolishness for others. We were young, immature and we held a fascination for booze. We lived our lives in complete denial and the absurdity of the situation did not fall into place until after I left. I stepped back into their home. I had memories of my childhood baking cookies and sharing treats, they were special times. The pot roast dinners as the home bathed itself in smells, that was what I cherished.  They were the times of complete joy. I loved my childhood and they were the times that catapulted me within my life. 

 

I had found freedom; I had found a way forward. I was young in years and now I had a new way forward with marriage, a career, children and a sense of freedom. That would be later in life, but I had to find the road to discovery first. The later years would define who I was, a woman of substance.  A woman whom had full control of her life and a sense of worth. I found a way forward moving myself countries, meeting new people, having some self-worth and stepping out of my comfort zone. It took courage to move and to set up home with complete strangers, but a life not lived, was worthless in my own mind. 

 

They were the good years. They were the defining moments that made me whom I became. I had power, I had a voice and I had symphysis to build my life around the one thing I desired. That was love for all things. Finding a rose, finding a home, building the bridge to conception and enjoying the pure pleasures of home; that was the calling of now. Home brought me forward to the life I chose, freedom. Freedom was a blessing as my life was full of wonderment, it made me who I am today. Many a day I would call home, check in and find the same life that I left. Those years kept me safe, they kept me knowing my life was a steppingstone. I thank my lucky stars that the life I founded was my one true desire, my home.  

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